


A Normal Life

by Caro (thestarsexist)



Category: Smallville
Genre: Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-12
Updated: 2003-08-12
Packaged: 2017-10-15 20:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarsexist/pseuds/Caro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's nothing normal about his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Normal Life

**Author's Note:**

> For Kormanfan's SV Flash Fiction Challenge. Alee's second pairing and story. Thanks to Jessica, Melo, and Celli for betaing.

There's a picture of Lex in the paper. He's at a benefit, looking resplendent in Armani, but Clark's not looking at him. Rather, Clark is looking at the blonde in Lex's arms, the one pressing a kiss to his lips on the cover of the society pages.

He chews on his cereal carefully while studying the picture.

Lex says that it's not really a date. That the women he escorts to these things understand fully well that they're only performing a social obligation.

It's hard to remember that when Clark doesn't get to hold Lex's hand in public.

He knows why Lex insists they remain discreet. Coming out with Lex is tantamount to inviting every tabloid writer out there to traipse around his personal life.

Still, somehow he thought it would be different once he and Lex were actually together. He thought he'd feel freer once he was able to actually confide his secrets to Lex.

Now it feels like his list of secrets just multiplies daily.

He hears Lex come into the kitchen, but he doesn't look up. Clark has class in exactly fifteen minutes, and Lex is probably surprised to still see him there.

There is no way Clark is getting to class on time unless he superspeeds. He can already feel the frown on Lex's face caused by this realization.

Lex doesn't like him to use his powers unnecessarily. He worries, and Clark admits it's with good cause, about the risks involved if someone discovered Clark's powers.

Lex pours himself a cup of coffee, and asks, "Shouldn't you be leaving?"

"Good morning to you too," Clark replies with more sarcasm than Lex probably deserves.

Lex ignores it.

"It's probably easier for you to stay in the dorms during the week, Clark."

This is a conversation they've had many times. Lex wants to give him something as close to the normal freshman year experience as possible. That means, roommates and resident assistants, not sleeping in your rich boyfriend's penthouse most of the week. Especially when you're trying to pass off your boyfriend as nothing more than a friend.

Normal is a word that Lex drills into Clark's head much too often.

Act normally. A normal college experience. A normal life.

Clark never thought that he'd get so sick of the concept.

"There's a great picture of you from the benefit last night," Clark says.

"Oh?" Lex walks over and looks over Clark's shoulder.

"What was her name?" Clark asks. He tries to sound casual, but he knows there's a hint of anger creeping into his voice.

"Rebecca. An old family friend."

"I bet," Clark snarls.

He feels Lex smile as he brushes a kiss across the back of Clark's neck. "You know it's not real."

"She's holding on to you pretty tight."

"Pretend, Clark. Social obligation."

"So, what kind of obligation am I?"

Lex stiffens next to him. He pulls a chair out and sits across from Clark, and looks him in the eye.

"You're not an obligation," he says seriously. "You know this."

Clark does know this on an intellectual level, but right now, he's feeling anything but rational. There's a picture of Lex kissing some woman in the paper, and Clark isn't as jealous of the woman as he is jealous of the fact that she can just do that.

Clark has _never_ been able to kiss Lex in public.

"Would fucking her also be considered a social obligation?"

Lex's eyes darken, and he grips the coffee cup so tight, that his knuckles gleam white. It was the wrong thing to say, and Clark's not exactly sure why he said it. Lex rises from the table, and sticks his hands in his pockets.

"I'm not sure what exactly is bothering you this morning, Clark, so I'm going to let that go. But for the sake of our relationship, I'm going to end this conversation here before it goes any farther."

Clark flushes. "I should go," he stammers.

"That probably would be best."

He grabs his bag and walks out of the kitchen. Lex doesn't walk him to the door.

* * *

Clark is depressed. He wants to call Lex, but he's not sure what to say to him. So instead, he's at a lame frat party that Pete dragged him too. He frowns into his watered down beer.

Pete pokes at him.

"What's with you, man? You've been weird all day."

"Nothing," Clark mumbles.

Pete obviously doesn't believe him. "You're supposed to be having fun."

Someone opens up another keg and a resounding cheer goes through the room. Clark grimaces at Pete. "This is fun?"

Pete shakes his head. "You're sounding old, Clark. We're in college. This is what our nights are supposed to be like. Wild parties and pretty girls. Speaking of which..." He trails off as he ogles some freshmen at the other end of the room.

Clark watches him go up to them and flirt. Pete's good at this. Enjoying the college lifestyle. Clark wishes he could relax and get with the program, as Pete puts it. He can't.

The first year of college hasn't been exactly how Clark expected it to be. For him, it's fewer bar runs, and more patrols through a dark city. It's less about being the life of the party, and more about saving lives. Somehow he thought it would be easier to blend in at college. That he wouldn't feel as responsible if he didn't know all the people who needed help personally. It's not. Every no-name kid he rescues looks like Ryan to him. Every woman, like his mother. He can no more turn his back on them than he could his family and friends back home.

So freshman year has become less about getting used to living in the big city, and more about getting used to being the savior for the entire city.

His parents freak out every time there's an article on an inexplicable rescue in the paper. They give him lectures about being careful, and not bring attention to himself. He wants to tell them not to worry. In Metropolis, no one ever notices him.

He used to think that would be comforting. Now it just feels lonely.

Clark knows all the reasons he can't ever be open about his powers. Phelan taught him that. Nixon made sure he understood the lesson. Still, he wishes that he didn't feel like everything he did was a lie.

He needs to leave this party.

* * *

He ends up at Chloe's. She smiles and waves him into her dormroom.

"Hey Clark, I was just finishing up an article. I'm surprised to see you. I thought you'd be out with Pete. Or Lex."

"Was with Pete. I left."

"Lame party?"

"Yeah."

"What's wrong? You sound upset."

"Fight with Lex."

She blinks at him. "About what?"

"I was being dumb," he admits.

She smiles at him. "Well, you do that often."

"Hey!" he scowls.

"Just kidding!" She laughs. "Seriously though, I'm sure it'll all be okay. Lex would never stay mad at you for too long."

He pouts and collapses onto her bed. "How do you know?"

She gives him a look. "Clark, I may be blonde, but I'm not dumb. Lex Luthor is crazy about you. It's not that hard to figure out."

Clark blinks. "I-didn't think..."

"Slick you are not, Mr. Kent." She shakes her head. "Look, I figured you two weren't comfortable talking about it, which is why I didn't mention it. But come on, you guys are practically joined at the hip. Don't tell me you thought no one knew. So, what's with the big secret?"

"Well," he begins. "It's Lex."

"Worried about his reputation?"

Clark folds his arms under his head. "Mine, actually. He's insistent on giving me as normal a life as possible."

"Hate to break it to you, Clark, but 2007. Being gay, not that abnormal."

"Yes, but being gay and dating Lex Luthor?"

She frowns. "Okay, I can see his point. The tabloids do love him."

"Yeah."

"Still, you guys do plan to come out eventually. I mean, this isn't just casual, is it?"

"No."

And that's just it, Clark realizes. While he can completely understand all the reasons it's better for them to remain private about their relationship, he also hates that it makes him feel like he has no claim on Lex, or vice versa. He wants to be able to share Lex. Wants people to be able to see the two of them and just know they belong together.

He wants them to be honest.

"I have to go, Chloe," he says, rising to his feet.

She nods. "Good luck."

"Thanks."

* * *

"I want to be able to kiss you," Clark announces, walking in the door.

"I wasn't aware you were unable to kiss me." Lex looks amused and wary at the same time.

"I want to be able to kiss you in front of people. And hold your hand. And I want to be able to let people know that I'm happy because I'm with you."

"Is this about the picture, Clark?" Lex asks, stepping closer to Clark.

"No. I mean, yes. But not like you're thinking. This isn't just me being childish and jealous. This is about me wanting to be honest."

"Honest?" Lex looks at him quizzically. "Clark, there are reasons--"

"I know the reasons. I understand them. I'm just tired of them."

Lex watches him intently.

"You don't like being in the paper."

"No, but I'll get used to it."

"Need I remind you there are some things about you that you don't want people to find out?"

"I know. It's just..." Clark flounders.

"Just what, Clark?" Lex's voice is soft now, indecisive, as if he's not quite sure how to proceed.

"When I first found out about my secrets, there was a part of me that was ashamed about them. About being different. I don't want us to be like that. I-I already lie to a lot of people I love. I don't want to lie _about_ the people I love. I can't anymore."

Lex is quiet and it scares Clark a little. So far, the need for discretion has always been about protecting Clark, so he's never really been concerned about how this would affect Lex. But Lex is a businessman. While the world has become a lot more open-minded over the years, it's still not easy. Maybe there's a reason that Lex's dates to all the social events are always beautiful women. And while Lex doesn't act like he cares too much about what the world thinks of him, he also knows how to play the game. Maybe this was a risk Lex wasn't willing to take, and Clark hadn't even considered that.

Maybe Lex doesn't want to make their relationship public because there is no relationship to make public.

"You know, I just wanted you to have a normal life."

Clark laughs a little hysterically. "Last night, while you were at the benefit, I stopped two muggings and a car accident. My life is anything but normal."

Lex moves in closer, cupping Clark's face in his hands.

"I never wanted to make it harder."

"You don't. You make it easier by just being here."

Lex smiles. "So, what are you going to say the first time someone asks you whether I like to top or bottom?"

Clark feels like he's breathing for the first time all day. "I'll say you're a very versatile man?"

Lex nods, and kisses him, and Clark thinks he can do this. It's not going to be easy, he knows that. He's in love with one of the richest men in the country, and people are always going to be looking at him. He won't be invisible anymore, but at least he won't be alone.

Clark feels more normal than he has in ages.

* * *

  



End file.
